Have you ever considered how the direction 'rest your fingers on your collarbone' is reserved for women? Or how a wide stance and direct gaze is ostensibly seen as strong and masculine? Since the 1970s, stylised portrayals of men and women have been accused of setting impossibly high standards for beauty, health and happiness, as well as defining what femininity and masculinity look like. It's high time for a rethink.

"Society has always had this obsession with perfection, an obsession that conditions most of us to never feel comfortable in our own skin because we are simply not enough," says music and fashion photographer Tarik Carroll, who, with his EveryMAN Project, aims to reform concepts of male beauty. "I like to call The EveryMAN Project a visual conversation about male aesthetics," Tarik continues. "It's a body positivity project showcasing a spectrum of masculinity, talking about what it means to be a man, and really having an honest conversation about it."

So what exactly is gender posing? "A lot of it is linked to gender roles," explains Tarik. "The standard female poses with a concave back in editorial, pushing her shoulders backwards… if you're a man, it's hands on the hips, elongating the neck and looking up."

The formulaic images of men that Tarik witnessed in the media is what drove him to focus on a more diverse representation of male beauty. "The women's body positivity movement started way ahead of us," he says. "Women are more open to speaking about their emotions and body insecurities. We've been programmed not to speak about these things – to 'man up' and 'suck it up'. Women have been having these conversations for quite some time, and have had plus-sized divisions for over 10 years. We've only started signing plus-size men to model agencies in the past two to three years."

Wanda agrees there are more boundaries to be broken down with men than women. Her aesthetic is inspired by classical paintings – but with a major twist. "If you look at paintings from the past few centuries, even photographs from earlier this century, the female naked body was always the centre of attention," she explains. "It's always women lying on sofas, naked or half naked, looking out at you, the viewer."

Wanda's latest project turns this concept on its head, creating new representations of masculinity, posing men in their homes, lying on sofas in a show of vulnerability. "I'm working with all kinds of men – drag artists, big buff guys, older men," she says.

In a world where clients are increasingly asking for diverse representation, and imperfection and difference is fast becoming the new ideal, Wanda and Tarik share five tips for creating powerful modern-day portraits.

Real-world perceptions and behaviours of both genders are heavily influenced by visual media, and this is where photographers can come into play. "It's important that you educate yourself. Look at different publications, at conversations we're having right now about gender expressions," advises Tarik. "You can see that brands are starting to be more inclusive, there has been a shift – be mindful of the changes and open to critique."

Wanda says that if you understand and recognise a stereotype, it becomes easier to avoid. She adds, "Whenever I work with women, I don't want to show them overly sexualised. I want to show them strong and proud – attitude is definitely a key thing."

"When I ask some subjects to pose for me, I tell them a bit of a story," explains Wanda. "It's like me being a film director, telling my actors how to pose and what sort of role they have to be playing for me. When I work with street casts or with a celebrity, musician or actor, I think my role changes a little and I become more like an observer – to get something from their personality and catch something of their character."

"I can look at a portrait and tell when it's too posed. You can tell it's not honest," says Tarik. Representation is about being real. "It's a collaboration. It's really capturing the subject in their best light and making them feel good; making them feel comfortable so you can capture those in-between moments. Those moments end up being the shots that get selected because they're natural, they're honest. It doesn't matter how contrived companies try to make these concepts: people want to connect with something that feels real."

It may not be new for 2021, but the advice still stands: to capture an authentic picture of the person in front of you, they need to be relaxed. "I always put my music on really loud," says Wanda. "We have to have fun on set! That's one of the most important things."

Tarik, meanwhile, compiles a playlist curated to the subject's taste. But key, he says, is "providing a good environment for all the subjects on set. That's the foundation for getting a good portrait."

Wanda notes that preconceived notions of masculinity are often deeply ingrained, and not everyone is ready at first to explore more diverse depictions. "When I ask older men to pose for me like this, with gentle hands, for example, it's often much more difficult to convince them. They find it very feminine and just don't feel comfortable."

It's worth investing the time and effort required to draw these subjects out of their shells. "The aim is to make diverse, plural, alternative or non-hegemonic expressions of masculinity visible through my female gaze," Wanda concludes.